Launching QuarterLife
Your 20’s and 30’s can be stressful. Quarter lifers are learning how to be adults for the first time, juggling careers, health, relationships, and hobbies.
Without any real guidance, managing it all can feel daunting. According to LinkedIn, 75% of 25-33-year-olds experience a quarter life crisis.
I know firsthand what this experience is like which is why I’m focusing on QuarterLife Coaching and storytelling. Here’s how I ended up here.
I worked above a pizza shop on Madison Ave in NYC for a tech startup with 4 other people when I was 24-years-old, commuting upwards of 4 hours a day from my parents house on the NJ Transit, leaving at 6am, and getting back at 8pm, most nights.
I was a tech sales recruiter getting paid $50K/year and between the drifting smells of tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese, the long bus rides home with standing room only, and the space heaters keeping our office warm in the winter, I was not where I wanted to be.
I pictured my life like an iPhone battery, nearly 25% gone. With little to show for on my life resume, I knew something had to change. I journaled most nights, searching my soul for inspiration. Ideal Dan was born — he was adventurous, risky, and bold; and he didn’t spend his 20’s watching TV on the couch with his dad.
I talked about going to South America for months, until, one day, I got sick of hearing myself. I made a plan, gave myself hard deadlines, asked friends and family to hold me accountable, and scheduled them into my Google Calendar.
Before I knew it, I was on a one-way flight to Ecuador. Traveling reminded me of childhood, a time before the stress of becoming an adult wore me down.
I drifted through the rolling hills of Missouri to ‘Hey Jude’ by The Beatles on a perfect, 70 degree, sunny day. Hot water from an outdoor stone shower in Minca, Colombia, massaged my back after a 20-mile hike, as I watched an orange sun set across mountains shrouded in mist. I felt true peace, freedom, and contentment.
The next 5 years of my tech sales career were less joyful. While my pay and career went up and to the right, my mental health and happiness went down. I sold my soul to the highest paying jobs, until, at 29, approaching 30, I felt so lost, burnout, and disconnected.
Instead of traveling the world this time, I went deep within. I worked with coaches. Adopted a puppy. Attended retreats. Joined communities. Read countless books and took several courses. Spent hours reflecting, meditating, and speaking with others.
The inner work paid off. I got my energy back. I wrote everyday on LinkedIn for 10 months, signed up for my first 100-mile ultramarathon, coached a few people, power-lifted again, started a podcast, made vlogs on Instagram, launched a community for creators, solopreneurs, and high achievers. The list kept growing.
Then I burnt out again, except this time, I couldn’t shift the blame to a bad manager, a lack of community, or any external factors outside of myself. I was left with my own manic ideas and a confusing pattern of self-destructive behaviors that kept repeating itself.
From May to July I entered a metaphorical cave, albeit, one with an unreasonable amount of DoorDash, Total War: Shogun 2, and TV shows like The Bear. In between the sore fingers from conquering feudal Japan and seeing my Strava miles hit an all-time low, I knew I couldn’t keep repeating this cycle of ups and downs.
In my darkest moments, I found a renewed sense of meaning. I realized while I had a few great moments in life and work, those moments did not make me great. By accepting I had lived a mediocre life thus far, I could begin the real journey of becoming great.
I saw greatness in the people I surrounded myself with, athletes and entrepreneurs performing at a high level in all areas of life. True greatness was a consistent dedication to the craft — improving health, wealth, and relationships, all at once — which required sacrifice, commitment, and discipline.
Like 24-year-old Dan before he went to South America, 31-year-old Dan needed to stop talking, and start committing.
So now I’m committing to build QuarterLife, a 1:1 coaching practice dedicated to helping techpeople in their 20’s and 30’s reach their full potential in work and life, and this blog, where I’ll write about my experiences navigating my own Quarter Life Crises with stories meant to inspire change.
To be clear, I’m still working through my own issues. I’m not perfect and my life isn’t an example of how to live yours. I still don’t have a girlfriend. I wish I had more friends, and I scroll social media for longer than I’d like. Nobody has it all together and I won’t pretend I do.
But I’m a different person than I was a few years ago and I know my perspective would have saved me a lot of time, money, and energy. My depression and anxiety wouldn’t have been so bad. I wouldn’t have had to overeat, drink, and isolate so much. I would’ve been happier with who I was and what I had, and I would have had a clearer vision, purpose, and goals — all things I have now.
Coaching changed my life and I want to bring that light into the world. Reading books, hearing stories, and connecting with others helped too. I hope by sharing my stories, others can feel more connected and less alone with whatever they’re going through.
Whether you’re in your quarter-life crisis, know someone who is, or you’re just interested in following along, I’d love to have you as a subscriber at QuarterLife so we can discover what it means to live and work well, while navigating your 20’s and 30’s, together.
